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.I can see it in your faces right now.It’s effin’ hot.Your arms are about to fall off.Your feet and legs are starting to get numb.You’re wondering why the hell you had to wait out here for so long just to listen to me jaw-jack.It’s part of the program, people.Part of the program.And you can either resist the program, or git’ with the program.Now what do you want to do, recruits?”“GET WITH THE PROGRAM, FIRST SERGEANT!”“Gawtdamn, now that’s what I want to hear! Okay, enough of me running my mouth.In front of you is the building you will call home until Pickup Day.As soon as you enter that building, at no time will you leave it unless told to do so by an NCO or an officer, is that understood?”“YES FIRST SERGEANT!”“You will obey every command given to you, and if you do not understand the command given to you, you will request clarification in a proper and respectful manner, is that understood?”“YES FIRST SERGEANT!”“Are there any questions for me at this time?”The rectangle remained silent.“No questions then? Alright.Time to whip a little training on your asses.You are now standing in what is called a mass formation.Most of the time you’ll be broken down by platoons, but once in a while it’s convenient for us to line you up like this as a large group.There are certain commands you will be given—whether in mass, or in platoon—and you must follow those commands in unison.Do you understand?”“YES FIRST SERGEANT,” shouted the formation.The First Sergeant laughed, and the other NCOs laughed with him.“Ch’yeah right, we’ll see about that.Okay here it comes…Companaaaayyyy”The NCOs surrounding the formation snapped their heads towards the recruits and repeated the preparatory command.“Right-FACE!”I did my best to mechanically rotate ninety degrees to starboard, bringing me face-to-face with another Recruit who had turned the wrong way.An immediate chorus of hoots, catcalls, and profanity issued from the surrounding pack of NCOs, as recruits who had turned left—or not turned at all—blushed and shuffled their feet until everyone was facing in the same direction.”“Jesus H,” said the first sergeant, shaking his head and smiling.“It’s gonna be a real fun group.Real fun.File from the left…column left…MARCH!”None of the recruits moved.“I said march gawtdammit!”Suddenly people were bumping into people as half the formation lurched forward and the other half stayed where it was.Like buzzsaws, the surrounding NCOs descended into the throng, screaming, insulting, kicking, hitting, and knocking bags to the ground.The Recruit behind me barged into my back full-force and I dropped both bags, suddenly relieved to be rid of them but then regretting it as a female corporal appeared and slapped the back of my head.“PICK UP THOSE EFFING BAGS RIGHT NOW, RECRUIT!”“Okay, okay, I only dropped them because—” (slap)“SHUT YOUR HOLE, RECRUIT, IS THAT HOW YOU SPEAK TO A NONCOMMISSIONED OFFICER?”“No ma’am, I—” (slap)“MA’AM? MY HELL, RECRUIT, YOU’VE BEEN HERE LESS THAN ONE EARTH HOUR AND YOU’RE ALREADY EFFED UP BEYOND BELIEF!”“Yes ma-errr, yes Corporal.I mean, no Corporal!”“I’M WAITING, RECRUIT! PICK UP YOUR BAGS AND GET BACK IN FORMATION!”I quickly retrieved my bags—happy to not receive a fourth whack on the back of the head, and got back in line while others did likewise.In two minutes the entire mass formation was once again standing at attention, facing the first sergeant, who no longer seemed to be smiling.“Wow,” he said.“That was just effin’ ugly.Y’all act like you just got out of the nursery.Am I gonna have to come around every day and wipe ass on y’all? Am I?”“NO FIRST SERGEANT!”“I hope not, because from what I’ve seen in the last five minutes none of you has what it takes to ship out on Pickup Day.To be Fleet you have to think.And right now I can tell that not a gawtdamned single one of you is doing any thinking.You’re all just going along and pretending to do whatever the eff it seems like you’re supposed to do, and hoping nobody gets up in your ass about it.Listen, Fleet doesn’t want dummies in its ranks.I’m not a dummy, and none of these other NCOs is a dummy.Dummies get people killed, even in training.Or should I say, especially in training.We don’t need dummies.So I might as well just outprocess the whole effin’ five hundred of yah and put your butts back on the runway, right?”“NO FIRST SERGEANT!”“Prove it.Someone raise their gawtdamned hand and tell me what was the first thing you all did wrong just now.”A hand went up meekly, fifty down and third rank.“You,” said the first sergeant.“We didn’t follow the command correctly?”A corporal stepped up to the recruit with the raised hand and began bawling the recruit out for not beginning and ending his sentence with, “First Sergeant.”“Wrong,” said Klauski.“Someone else?”Another hand went up.“First Sergeant, we ran into each other, First Sergeant.”“Wrong.”“First Sergeant, the people up front didn’t know what to do, First Sergeant.”“Wrong.”“…not in unison!”“Wrong…wrong…wrong [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]