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.As I drove slowly alongside, he touched his ancient cap.‘Glad you’ve the little lady safe back again, missis.’‘Thank you, Jack.’The roads were busy as always on a Saturday morning.I had to park some distance from the surgery and walk the rest of the way.The letter was waiting for me as promised in the prescription box.It was addressed firmly to Dr Max Forrest, with a string of initials after the name.Fleetingly I was tempted to open it myself, but it would all be in medical terms, meaningless to me.In any event, Dr Burton had freely admitted that he didn’t know what was wrong; I would learn nothing from any spying.Lance saw the tight yellow rosebuds as soon as he came home and raised his eyebrows interrogatively.‘Mark brought them,’ I answered quietly.‘He didn’t waste much time, did he?’‘I think he’s genuinely fond of her.I wish you wouldn’t always be so critical of him.At least he’s not scruffy like some of the boys.Lance –’ I spoke quickly, really only trying to lead him away from the thorny subject of Mark.‘Did we ever know anyone called Jamie?’At first, when he didn’t reply, I thought he hadn’t heard.His back was towards me and I couldn’t see his face.I was about to repeat the question when he answered in an odd, breathless voice, ‘I did, once.In another existence.Why do you ask?’‘How do you mean, another –?’‘I said why do you ask?’He turned then, and my mouth went dry at the sight of his ashen face.‘Mark mentioned it,’ I stammered, completely off my guard.‘He said Briony sometimes calls him that.’‘Calls him Jamie?’ I nodded and he gave a harsh laugh.‘Well, well!’I said with difficulty, ‘Lance what is it? You look terrible.Is there –’‘I’m not surprised.’ He went quickly to the drinks cabinet and poured himself a neat whisky, draining it in one gulp.As I watched fearfully he poured another.‘Has it ever occurred to you that I might be insane?’ he inquired conversationally.I don’t think he expected a reply.Certainly he didn’t get one.He had moved over to the picture and was standing in front of it while he sipped his second drink.The door opened and Briony came in, still pale but more like her old self.‘Oh, you’re both back.Is lunch ready? I didn’t have any breakfast and I’m quite hungry now.’ Lance hadn’t turned and she went over to him, slipping one arm round his neck.‘Admiring my picture?’ she asked.He turned so suddenly that she took a quick step backwards, her eyes widening at his expression.‘Your painting?’ The words seemed jolted out of him.‘I – I only meant it’s my favourite.’‘Yes.’ He visibly pulled himself together, rubbed a hand over his face and drew a deep breath.‘Yes, of course.’I said precariously, ‘How was Paul today?’‘Paul? Oh – physically not so good, poor lad.His mother said it was one of his bad days.However, the painting session helped to take his mind off it.’ He finished his drink and set the glass down with a little click.‘Let’s eat then, shall we? Stella’s coming at two-thirty.’‘You’re not seeing Mark this afternoon, are you?’ I asked Briony in a low voice.‘No, he has a cricket match.In any case, I feel too lazy to do anything but rest today.’‘Good.We’ll have a quiet afternoon together, then.’She and I were in the garden when Stella arrived, her thick corn-coloured hair tied back with a ribbon.‘Earth Mother reporting for duty!’ she announced.‘And please use your influence on that man to let me have my hair done on Tuesday or I shall go completely mad.’ She paused, looking down at Briony.‘You okay, love?’‘Yes thank you, Mrs Pomfrett.’‘What was the idea of frightening us all like that?’Lance came round the shrubbery from the studio.‘Hello, Stella.I thought I heard you.’‘Good grief, Lance, what have you been doing to yourself? If anything you look worse than Briony!’Lance smiled tightly.‘I’m older than she is and anxiety takes more of a toll.’ They walked together round the bank and out of sight.Briony spread out a rug and lay face down on it, cushioning her face in her arms.For a long time neither of us spoke.An aeroplane moved lazily over the blue arc of the sky like an outsize bee, its throbbing hum a part of the summer day.I thought Briony was asleep, but she said suddenly, ‘Mother, you remember that film we saw last Sunday?’Alarm signals triggered through my body, but I only said non-committally, ‘Yes?’‘The one about reincarnation?’‘So you all said.’‘Do you believe in it?’‘I don’t think I like the idea very much.’‘That’s not quite the same thing.Do you think there could be anything in it?’‘Why do you ask?’‘Because sometimes I’m absolutely convinced I’ve lived before, and not all that long ago, either.’Impossible that so fantastic a conversation should be taking place in the slumbrous peace of this summer garden.Even so, I registered that her words came as no surprise.She turned her head sideway? to look up at me.‘The signs and symptoms they quoted in that film – most of them have happened to me.’ Which explained her tension that afternoon.‘Did you mention this to anyone?’‘No.’‘Not even Mark?’‘No.I didn’t dare put it into words in case it made it more true.’‘But you have done now.’‘Now things have progressed further, and keeping quiet isn’t going to stop them.’After a moment I said, ‘What exactly has happened, Briony?’‘I’m not sure.’ Her voice shook.‘Sometimes from the way Mark looks at me, I think he’s noticed something strange, but he’s never mentioned it.I just feel certain that my going to Scotland without even knowing it is tied up with it in some way.’I said carefully, ‘I don’t quite see what amnesia has to do with reincarnation [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]