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.“You know you have a way of looking at people that makes them feel like you’re seeing clear through them.Keeps you a little off balance.You get that from your mom.” He cleared his throat and looked away.“Well, anyway, give her my best.I hope to see you again sometime.”“Yeah, me too.” But not really.I started walking away from him but stopped and turned as I reached the door.“What was it like? You know, being in Vietnam.”Johnny closed his eyes.When he opened them again, he looked past me out the window.“It was the stuff of nightmares.Stifling hot days in the jungle, so humid your clothes were soaking wet even after a shower.The drone of mosquitoes was constant.It filled my dreams.I never slept well, always waking up after a few hours.I used to look forward to my shifts dropping bombs on the Viet Cong.It’s an impersonal way to kill people, and I did it well.We were all scared, but some handled it better than others.Then there was the monotony.When you weren’t flying, there was nothing to do and nowhere to go.Drugs were easy to get.A lot of the guys started using just to get through.I missed home and the thought of Candy waiting for me kept me going.Toward the end, all I wanted to do was get back to her, to something untouched by what we were doing in Nam.” He shrugged.“I was nuts to think she’d be the same as I left her.Five years I was more or less gone.I still wake up in a sweat, thinking I’m back there in the jungle.Hearing sounds in my head that won’t go away.”I suddenly wanted to get away from Johnny and what I saw in his eyes.“I hope it goes well for you and Sean,” I said.“I hope you find somewhere good to live.”He rubbed a hand across his eyes and nodded.His cheeks were wet.“Yeah, you take care.”Johnny was already halfway up the stairs to get Sean when I shut the back door.I stepped outside into the heat of another August day.I could still hear Sean’s cries through the open window, then the low murmuring of Johnny’s voice followed by silence.I stepped onto the pathway and walked past the bench where Candy and I had sat talking in the sun not very long ago, trying to picture her there, but already finding her features were fading in my memory.I glanced back one more time as I straddled my bike seat and prepared to push off from the grass with one foot.Chapter SixteenMy father’s rusty blue Ford was next to William’s Volkswagen in our driveway.I walked my bike slowly past them up the drive.Dad and William were probably sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper while Mom made them something to eat.She’d have poured them each a strong cup of coffee in her good china mugs and sat for a minute before getting up to keep busy at the counter.She’d be pretending that it was just another Saturday morning and she wasn’t distracted by Johnny’s leaving.She wouldn’t let on that she was part of the network helping him move.William would be acting right along with her.I looked across the road toward the lake.I thought about going to go sit on my rock and being alone.Nobody would miss me for a little bit.After they ate lunch, Mom would probably start looking at the clock and asking if anyone had seen me.She’d go to the front door and look up the road.She wouldn’t rest until I came home.I looked back toward the store and sighed.I didn’t want my mom to have to worry about me.I’d go sit on my rock after I had something to eat.“There you are,” said my father.He looked up from his plate of fried eggs and bacon.Pockets of flesh sagged under his eyes, but he didn’t look as tired as he had every other time I’d seen him at Cedar Lake.This morning he nodded at me.“You’re looking tanned.”I stopped myself from turning my head to look behind me to see if he was talking to somebody else.Had he actually noticed me and not told me I was doing something wrong? “Hi, Dad.Hard week?”“I’ve had better.”William and Mom locked eyes before Mom looked at me and shook her head to warn me not to talk about anything going on behind the scenes.I kept my eyes on her.“Where’s Elizabeth?”“Babysitting.Apparently she’s quite a hit with the kids,” said my mother.“That girl will go far in life,” said my father.“She’s got spunk.” He bit into a piece of toast.My mouth fell open.William grinned at me before standing up from the table.“Well, I hate to leave so soon, but I have to head back to Toronto,” he said.“You’re always in a hurry,” Dad said.“Where’s the fire this time?”“Some unexpected volunteer work.”“I’ll walk out with you,” I said.When we stopped halfway down the steps, William said, “Thanks for keeping all this Johnny business a secret from Dad.I’m off to get Johnny now.We’ve got a new location where he and Sean can stay for a while.”“I think you’re doing a good thing, you and Mom,” I said.“I’m glad you’re onside.” William smiled before he looked down at my hand.His voice came out strange.“Where did you get that ring?”I looked down too and held my hand out in front of me.“Johnny gave it to me.He said Candy would want me to have it.”William grabbed my hand and touched the ring with one of his fingers.“What’s wrong?” I asked.“Nothing.It’s nothing.” He pulled back his hand, and we kept walking toward his car.He opened the driver’s door and put one foot inside before turning back to look at me.“Oh, by the way, you might also want to watch how much personal information you tell Elizabeth.She seems to know a lot about you, actually.More than I thought you’d ever share.”“What do you mean?”“Just that she told us at the campfire about your crush.”My face felt hot.“Who did Elizabeth tell?”“Everyone standing around … including Tyler.”I nodded but couldn’t say anything.This was worse than when my tights had fallen down in grade three while I was demonstrating my new etch-a-sketch for show and tell.William said, “I don’t think she got the reaction she wanted.”“What do you mean?”“Tyler.He didn’t say anything.He just stood there looking at her.Then he put his head down and his hands in his pockets and walked away.He never looked back at anybody or said goodbye.I just thought you should know.”“Thanks.”“Any time.” William reached over and squeezed my arm.After he’d driven away, I raced back inside and up the stairs to my bedroom.I reached under the bed for my diary and saw that it was still locked.I crossed to my jewellery box and found the key on top of the piece of leather I wore around my neck.I always tucked the key underneath and out of sight.There was no doubt in my mind that Elizabeth had been in my things.I dropped to my knees on the floor and worked the lock open.The pages fell open.I flipped to the last two pages and skimmed through the entries that recorded my pain at seeing Tyler with Jane Ratherford and my fear that he was interested in my cousin.That must have given Elizabeth a laugh.She’d read my most personal thoughts and then used them to humiliate me.Hot, angry tears leaked from my eyes.If the floor had opened up at that moment, I’d have gladly dropped through it into another dimension that didn’t include my cousin or Tyler Livingstone.Michelle and I spent the afternoon at the beach.We didn’t say much, just swam and tanned.Neither of us wanted to talk about Danny and Tyler and how Elizabeth had played us all summer [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]