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.Louis con, or sometimes the old elevator con.The real deal is the house has a built-in cyberpersonality, with speakers and scanners all over.Just ask for what you want.”“I thought,” I ventured as the elevator came to a halt, “—I mean, weren’t we going up to my room?”“I’m showing you the mushrooms first,” St.Louis explained, “then you’ll have a clear shot upstairs until dinner, and I’ll have a chance to do some chores.Come on, they’re worth seeing.”We stepped out into semidarkness; the ceiling was low, the room cool and damp and full of the smell of musty life.Dimly I could make out row upon row of greenhouse benches filled with earth; strange, uncouth shapes lifted blind heads from this soil, and some appeared to glow with an uncanny phosophorescence.“The mushrooms,” St.Louis said proudly.“He’s got over eighteen hundred different kinds, and believe me, he gets ‘em from all over.The culture medium is shredded paper pulp mixed with sawdust and horse manure.”“Amazing,” I said.“That’s why he wants you here,” St.Louis continued.“Wide’s not only the greatest detective in our Galaxy, he’s also the greatest gourmet cook—on the theoretical end, I mean.Fritz does the actual dirty work.”“Did you say Mr.Wide was a detective?”“I may have let it slip.He’s pretty famous.”“What a striking coincidence! Would you believe it, St.Louis, my own best friend—”“Small Universe, isn’t it? Does Street cook too?”“Oh,” I said, “I didn’t know you knew him; no, Street’s hobby is collecting old machines, and scientific tinkering generally.”“Sometimes I wish Wide’s was, but he cooks instead.You know why I think he does it?”“Since no one but a human being can eat the food, I can’t imagine.”“It’s those add-on units—you noticed how big he was?”“I certainly did! You don’t mean to say—”St.Louis nodded.“The heck I don’t.Add-on core memory sections.His design is plug-to-plug compatible with them, and so far he’s sporting fourteen; they cost ten grand apiece, but every time we rake in a big fee he goes out and buys his brains a subdivision.”“Why, that’s incredible! St.Louis, he must be one of the most intelligent people in the world.”“Yeah, he’s smart.He’s so smart if he drops something on the floor I got to pick it up for him.But it’s the image, you know.He’s eighty inches around the waist, so he figures he’s got to do the food business.You ever hear of Truffles et Champignons à la Noel Wide? He makes it with sour cream and sauerkraut, and the last time he served it we almost lost two clients and an assistant district attorney.”“And he’s giving one of these dinners tonight? I’m surprised that anyone would come.”St.Louis shrugged.“He invites people who owe him a favor and don’t know; and then there’s a bunch who’ll turn up dam near regularly—some of the stuffs pretty good, and it’s a sort of suicide club.”“I see,” I said, rapidly checking over the contents of my medical bag mentally.“Am I correct in assuming that since, as you say, there is a great deal of cooking done in this house, you are well supplied with baking soda and powdered mustard?”“If it’s got to do with food we’ve got tons of it.”“Then there’s nothing to worry—’I was interrupted by the sound of the elevator doors, and Wide’s deep, glutinous voice: “Ah, Doctor, you have anticipated me—I wished to show you my treasures myself.”“Mr.St.Louis tells me,” I said, “that you have mushrooms from all over the Universe, as well as the Manhattan area.”“I do indeed.Fungi from points exotic as Arcturus and as homely as Yuggoth.But I fear that—great as my satisfaction would be—it was not to expatiate upon the wonders of my collection that I came.” He paused and looked out over the rows of earth-filled benches.“It is not the orchid, but the mushroom which symbolizes our society.I used to grow orchids—were you aware of that, Doctor?”I shook my head.“For many years.Then I acquired my eighth unit of additional core.” Wide thoughtfully slapped his midsection—a sound deeply reverberant, but muted as the note of some great bronze gong in a forgotten catacomb of the temple of Thought.“I had no sooner gotten that unit up, than the insight came to me: No one can eat orchids.It was as simple as that: No one can eat orchids.It had been staring me in the face for years, but I had not seen it.”St.Louis snorted.“You said you came down here for something else, boss.”“I did.The client is here.Fritz admitted her; she is waiting in the front room with a hundred thousand credits in small bills in her lap.”“Want me to get rid of her?”“There has been another apparition.”St.Louis whistled, almost silently.“I intend to talk to her; it occurred to me that you might wish to be present, though Dr.Westing need not trouble himself in the matter [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]