[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
.We’ll be friends and we’ll text and—”“If what doesn’t work out?” I asked, and his lips quirked upwards, leaving perfect apostrophes on either side of his brown mouth.“Just close your eyes,” he said softly, and I did.He moved slowly, reaching behind my head and pulling it down, and when I was right where he needed to be, he raised up a little.I could feel puffs of breath against my mouth, and then a tickle against my lips.And another, harder.And one more, warmer.I gasped, opening my mouth, and his tongue swept in, teasing a little, until I teased back.He sighed into my mouth, and for a moment it felt like he was going to pull away, but I wasn’t ready.I reached behind him and pulled him closer to me, and his tongue went deeper.Ohhh.this was kissing.I sighed back at him, and he pulled away, leaving me to suck on his tongue until the last minute, because I wanted him some more.And then it hit me.Oliver had kissed me, and I’d kissed him back.I dropped my arms and jerked back, cracking my elbow on the side of the car.Oliver took a hurried step backward himself and gave a startled laugh, clapping his hand over his mouth.“Oh my God, Rusty, are you okay?” His words came out muffled from behind his fingers.He was still laughing.I rubbed my elbow and tried to breathe through that funny-bone pain that is almost as not funny as getting kissed by your best male friend when you thought you were straight.“I’m a little confused,” I told him honestly.“And my elbow hurts.”He ventured closer and hesitantly put his hands on my shoulders.I wanted to shrug them off and remind him that I wasn’t gay, but I didn’t.They felt good there, soothing, and I lowered my head and let him touch me.“You don’t have to do anything,” he said quietly.“You don’t have to kiss me back or worry that I’ll do that again.Just.think about it, okay? Just think about it, and we’ll be friends like we always have been.”I nodded, but I didn’t move.I must have at some point, I know, because we eventually got back into the car and drove home, but I don’t remember that moment when we stepped away from each other.In fact, for a long time, my head was still there, listening to cicadas and feeling the touch of his hands and the tender wind of his breath on my face.I dropped him off at his house, like usual, except, well, it wasn’t usually one in the morning.He hopped out of the car and stood for a moment, in front of that wildly overgrown fence of jasmine, morning glories, and tiny roses, and looked at me, his mouth pulled down with worry.“Call me,” he said.“Text me.Email me.IM me.Anything—just don’t think you’re down there alone.”I smiled at him, relieved and more than relieved.He was still my friend.That hidden moment behind the gas station hadn’t changed the one important thing.“I promise,” I said, and he nodded soberly.“That’s something you’re good at,” he reminded me, and I smiled.That look was back in his eyes.The one that said I could do anything.Keeping a promise—that was a good thing.I could do that.I got home and walked quietly into the house.No one was waiting up for me—I thought.But then I found my little sister asleep in my bed, wearing one of my T-shirts and a pair of my basketball shorts.I stripped to my sleep shorts while she was still out and kept on my tank top.Then I shook her carefully.“Nic—Nic you gotta get up.I’m home.”She looked at me groggily.“Where’dyougo?”“Just around.Get up.”“No.There’s room.Go on my other side.”I was tired.I’d worked that day for half the day, and Mr.Campbell had bought me lunch as a send-off.He’d told me I was welcome to come work for him anytime, and I was grateful.Those checks had really added up in my savings account, and I’d earned that money, fair and square.“Fine.” I scrambled over her and tucked into the covers.She was on the outside, and I reached down and grabbed an old afghan that Estrella had made me and pulled it up so she could tuck it under her chin.“Why do you want to sleep here?” I asked, my eyes closing too.“You’re the only one in the house who likes me,” she said, and it sounded like she at least was waking up.“Estrella likes you,” I said, and it was true.Estrella always saved the best cakes in the kitchen for Nic.Of course, it probably didn’t help her waist size, but if someone offers you love, you don’t really count calories [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]